Excuse me sir. Where can I purchase a twelve pack of motivation?

Seems like at least 3 months since I've really had any motivation to do anything besides go to work, play my guitar a little and watch television. 6 months ago I was in a great mood 6 days out of 7. Ready to go and do things on a moments notice and now I can't seem to get my ass in gear and do anything. The intention is there but the desire and execution are severely lacking. Which, for me, is really frustrating. I mean it's me and I'm doing it to myself but it doesn't feel like I'm doing anything to myself. I thought about it most days during the entire month of September. I posted my last blog about goals that I never really even lifted a finger to reach. I feel like a sail boat stuck in the calm of the open ocean. I feel like things are happening to me and I'm not at all in control of what direction I'm going or where I will end up. Worst of all? I know I'm doing this to me. I'm the root cause of all of it. I'm simultaneasly the cause and the effect.

I made the decision almost three months ago to change jobs and I don't feel comfortable in that transition yet. The job is great, the people are great, most of my customer's are very easy to deal with, I am closer to home AND I get paid way more to do essentially the same job. But I still feel a little uneasy and unsettled with the transition and when I try and communicate that feeling to someone they look at me like I'm crazy. Like I should be greatful to have what I have and shouldn't spend a moment futzing over it. Am I happier here than I was at my last job? Hell yes. Am I less stressed at the end of the day? Most certainly yes. The problem is I still feel out of place and that makes everything else in my life seem out of focus. 

I'm frustrated with myself right now. I know I have the ability to meet and exceed any goals that I set. I know I do and yet last month I set goals and didn't even try to reach them and that feels like failure. But damnit I got up every morning and went to work, I paid all my bills on time, I didn't crash my car, I didn't forget to tip any waiters and I didn't kill anyone when I got angry. Damnit that's not failure that's freakin' success.

Right now though, right now, I think I should focus on the basics for a while. So with that in mind here are my goals for October.

Goal One - Write one new song

Goal Two - Pay all of my bills on time

Goal Three - Post a weekly update to the Clydesdale blog about goals for October

Goal Four - Clean my bathroom every Sunday morning this month starting 10/9/11

Goal Five - Start dusting my bedroom and bathroom

Goal Six - Do my laundry once a week and put it away

Goal Seven - Get to work on time everyday for the rest of October

Goal Eight - master the minor pentatonic box 1 and major box 1

Goal Nine - Start up the tbens music blog with a monthly "Top 25" list of my favorite songs right off of my iPod

Frankly I think that's a damn good set of goals right there. But there aren't any weight loss or fitness goals?!? Meh get over it. I'm looking for victories on my goal setting not losses. I need some freakin' wins cause right now it doesn't feel like winning. It feels like losing and I don't like to lose.

Other things I might work on... I might be working on a basic home recording studio and I might record my own "album". I might also start walking pretty regularly again sometime this month. I miss walking in the mornings but it was so much easier to do that when I don't have to be at work til 9. I can totally get up at 7 and be at work right at 8 which is a huge improvement from 5 years ago. Go ask Ed Hacker, owner at First Stop Auto on Clays Mill, how many times I showed up on time in the 2 years I worked for him.

Anyway... This is my blog. These are my goals and that's my update. 

A little late... September Lifestyle Challenge and July/August update

Back in July... That seems so long ago now... I set a few goals as part of the Skinny Devil Music's July lifestyle challenge. You can read David's update at the above link and you can read my update and new goals for September/October below.

July/August Update:
First the goals..

Excercise - My goal is to walk a minimum of 15 minutes every morning and to excercise an addtional 45 minutes three times a week - I was pretty good on this the first couple weeks of the month. Then things got wonky work wise and I lost my exercise mojo. We'll call this one a miss. 


Creativity - Continue with lessons. Memorize an addtional 5 songs. Write two new songs. Go to the Common Grounds open mic night once and play three of my originals. Make at least one performance appearance at the Lexington Farmer's Market playing only memorized music (minimum ten songs). Make one appearance at the jam session after the Southland Jamboree. I hit on the memorized songs and I hit on the songwriting bit. I ended up writing 5 or 6 new songs in July and August. I attended all of my lessons and went to the entire 8 weeks session of guitar four. I did not make it to the Farmer's Market, the Southland Jamboree or the Common Grounds open mics. We'll call this one a partial hit. Glass half full and all that. 


Personal - Lose 10 pounds this month. Realign my diet with the "no sugar/mo starches" concept. Go on a date. Just like with the exercise I lost my mojo a little bit when got a bit wonky in mid July. I ran on a pretty long leash and got farther away from the whole no sugar/no starch thing instead of closer to it. I also gained weight instead of lost it. I also didn't go on a date. I guess I'm not asking right.  Big miss on this one. 


Professional - No missed punches on my time card for the whole month. Bring lunch to work everyday. No going out and no eating free food in the breakroom's. No vending machine visits. When I posted this I couldn't post what my real professional goal was and I didn't want to hint that I may have been leaving my old job. So although I did hit my goal of no missed punches at Tempur for the last couple weeks I was there, I'm totally calling that a hit, my real goal was to get the job I applied for at Florida Tile and to that end I had a huge HIT! The transition to the new job was tough and the work is more demanding but I'm enjoying the new challenges and I'm working with some amazing folks at an amazing company. HIT x 3 more money, better work environment and accountability for my work. 


So now we know how well I did in July and August... Let's look ahead to September/October

1. Excercise - My goal is to walk a minimum of 15 minutes everyday and to excercise an addtional 30 minutes three times a week.
2. Creativity - Continue with lessons. Get two good recordings of my songs. Hit two open mic/songwriter nights around town. 
3. Personal - Lose 10 pounds this by the end of October. Realign my diet with the "no sugar/mo starches" concept. Go on a date. 
4. Professional - Continue to kick ass and take names at my new job. Remember to add freight charges to my accounts when needed.  Bring lunch to work four times a week and only eat out once. 

Lifestyle Challenge Update

Update for week one of the Skinny Devil Music Labs July Lifestyle Challenge.

1. Excercise - Walked in the morning four days last week. Also walked an addtional 45 minutes on 2 days last week. 
2. Creativity - Wrote and performed one new song on Saturday. Had another song fall out of the sky on Saturday night and it should be complete this week. No performances to report other than Lexjam. 
3. Personal - Lost 1.6 pounds last week. Avoided sugar's and starches during 75% of meals. 
4. Professional - Did not miss any punches at work and only slipped on free food in the break room. 

Off to a good start so far. Creativity seems to be booming.

Long Overdue Update

For the record I had a blog long before I met either Paul Felice or David McClean I just haven't done anything with it recently. That being said let's fix that today...

My last update was 3/21/11 and it was just a photo of the scrambled eggs I had for breakfast that day. I made a deal with myself almost three years ago that I could start/stop any bad habit at anytime as long as I didn't start smoking cigarette's again and blogging was one of those habbits I decided to just stop one morning. It got to be a hasle at a time when I wasn't dealing with "hasle" very well.

Since my last update I have gained... wait for it... 0 pounds. I've managed to keep off the 20 pounds I lost in March and February and I'm pretty pumped about that. I did however lose 10 additional pounds and then gain that back. I'm ok with that. I had fun gaining that ten pounds back, damnit, the food was good.

So, why am I writing today of all days you ask? Well cause it's goal setting time... I'm stepping up to the Skinny Devil Universe monthly lifestyle challenge. So here are my "July Lifestyle Challenge" goals

1. Excercise - My goal is to walk a minimum of 15 minutes every morning and to excercise an addtional 45 minutes three times a week.
2. Creativity - Continue with lessons. Memorize an addtional 5 songs. Write two new songs. Go to the Common Grounds open mic night once and play three of my originals. Make at least one performance appearance at the Lexington Farmer's Market playing only memorized music (minimum ten songs). Make one appearance at the jam session after the Southland Jamboree.
3. Personal - Lose 10 pounds this month. Realign my diet with the "no sugar/mo starches" concept. Go on a date.
4. Professional - No missed punches on my time card for the whole month. Bring lunch to work everyday. No going out and no eating free food in the breakroom's. No vending machine visits.

So there ya go... This is where I'm headed. See ya in a month to compare my accomplishment's against my goals. In the meantime we'll just call a few lines from the below song my "mantra"... 

"There's nothin' in the world so sad as talking to a man who never knew his life was his for making. Ain't it about time you realize it's not worth keepin' score? You win some, you lose some and you let it go!" Ray Lamontagne

Breakfast 3/21

Two eggs scrambled.

Dinner 3/17

I pan seared this steak in the oven and man is it good. Those are green beans on the side.

Breakfast 3/17

Two eggs scrambled.

Breakfast 3/16

Two eggs scrambled with butter and no meat.

Well...

So I've really fallen off on updating this regularly like I planned too... Insert frowny face here. Oh well. I'm doing very well with my eating habits. Had a few slips this weekend but I weighed in the morning and so far I've lost 19 pounds. So that's one month solid of the low carb thing and 20 pounds lost. I can't help but wonder if that average will continue in the future. How cool would it be if you could really lose over a hundred pounds in just six months.

I'm not deluding myself at all here. I know this will be a long haul thing. Even if I drop all the weight I want to lose in six months I will still have to fight and watch what I'm eating all the time. I'm learning as I go on several levels but, so far, the things I'm most impressed with are my cooking skills. Maybe I'll be as awesome as Tony Bourdain someday.

Signing just shy of 20 pounds lighter.

Breakfast 3/12

Two eggs and four pieces of bacon. Mmm mmm good.

Dinner 3/11

Forgot to take a picture of dinner :(  cooked some chicken thighs and greens beans with Lexi. Also had about a cup of baby spinach with ceasar dressing. Good stuff.

Lunch 3/11

2 cups of baby romaine. 4 pieces of bacon. 3 hard boiled eggs and Newmans own creamy Ceasar dressing. Mmmm mmm.

Breakfast 3/11

No I didn't not eat Santeria for breakfast...

Two eggs and two sausage patties.

About 11AM I had three slices of salami, 1 slice of Provolone cheese, 3 green olives and three mini dill pickles.

I'm going to start taking pictures of my meals instead of writing them down. Hopefully that will make me more consistent.

Dinner 3/10

Same thing as last night. Looking for some variety next week.

Lunch 3/10

2 cups of baby spinach and my tuna salad concontion with Tuna... Not nearly as good as the salad from yesterday though.

Breakfast 3/10

Two scrambled eggs and two sausage patties.

Dinner 3/9

Ribeye steak. Baby spinach with greek dressing. Green beans with butter. Good stuff.

Lunch 3/9

Two cups of baby romain lettuce. Four strips of bacon cut into small pieces. Three hard boiled eggs. Three tablespoons of Newmans Own creamy ceasar. Put that all together in a bowl and call it delicious.

Breakfast 3/9

Two eggs and two sausage patties. I'm using butter to cook my eggs again and they are coming out much better.

Been out of touch the last few days. Got totally off diet but I'm back today.

Weekend

This weekend I was on a secret mission for the government. I can't discuss any of the I did this weekend and that includes what or where I ate. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Breakfast 3/4/11

Two eggs and four pieces of bacon for breakfast this morning. I think I'm gonna start doing over easy eggs er soemthing like that. Scrambled is getting old.

3/3 Update

Dinner last night was the usual steak and salad.

Breakfast this morning was the usual eggs and sausage. This time two eggs and three sausage links.

Lunch was tuna salad stuff with tuna. Two cups of baby spinach with greek dressing.

Snack was a little finger food from work and a glass of champagne at work. That's right champagne at work.

I also got to hear my name and the words "great job" used in the same sentance today. Hell's yeah.

Meal Update...

Man I’ve totally let my meal updates slip huh? Well…


Dinner 3/1/2011 was a ribeye with green beans and butter(talk about a way to make canned green beans taste good). 1 cup of baby spinach and greek salad dressing.

Breakfast 3/2/2011 was two eggs with four pieces of bacon.

Lunch 3/2/2011 was my tuna salad concoction with salmon. Two cups of baby spinach with greek dressing.

Had an interesting morning… I’ve gained three pounds over the last three days. I think it’s all a result of cheating with some, ok several girl scout cookies on Sunday. Haven’t had anything with sugar or starch in it since Sunday evening so hopefully the upward trend will stop. We’ll find out tomorrow… and the next day.

Well I'm a slacker...

Dinner 2/28
Ribeye steak with 1 cup of baby spinach and greek dressing. 1.5 cups of green beans. 6 olives and a slice of colby cheese.

Breakfast 3/1
Two eggs with four sausage links.

Lunch 3/1
2 cups baby spinach with greek salad dressing. My tuna salad thing with Salmon instead of tuna. 6 olives.

Lunch 2/28

My tuna salad concoction with tuna. 2 cups of baby spinach with greek dressing.

Off and Running!

So today marks the beginning of the third of week of my latest weight loss attempt and things are going swimmingly. I’m feeling good and not going hungry. I’ve lost 16 pounds and I still haven’t worked out. It’s pretty amazing to be able to do that and actually eat real food when I’m hungry.


Today also marks the beginning of work outs with my diet. My plan is to do 20 minutes on the elliptical after work today, Wednesday and Friday. I’m starting slow with it because I am unsure what the exercise will do to my appetite. Hopefully it won’t affect it much but we’ll see.

I’ve noticed a drop in my appetite lately. I’m not deciding to not be hungry I’m just not hungry and that’s a change from previous attempts. Here’s an example of what I’m talking about… On weight watchers points I can remember several times being out of points and still hungry. I had to decide to cheat, which makes you feel bad about yourself, or ignore the fact that I was hungry. Since I’m not counting anything there is nothing to “cheat” on if I get hungry away from normal meal time and since I’ve been eating the “right” foods I’m simply not hungry outside of meal times. I hope that makes sense.

So, right now we’re at 16 pounds lost in two weeks. Can’t wait to see where I am next week.

Breakfast 2/28

Two eggs and four sausage links.

Dinner 2/27

Let's just say dinner was not on the approved list and it was delish.

Breakfast and Lunch 2/27

Two eggs and four sausage links. Chicken enchillada with ceasar salad at Moms.

Dinner 2/26

Grilled chicken legs and breast. Salad. It was a good night. Wrote yet another song. 

Breakfast and Lunch 2/26

Two eggs and four sausage links. Lunch was really just a snack with two pieces of cheese and a slim jim type thing.

Dinner 2/25

I had exactly the same thing I had yesterday. I added a Reeces egg and an Air Head.

Breakfast and Lunch 2/25/11

Breakfast was three eggs scrambled and four pieces of bacon.
Lunch was two cups of spinach with greek dressing. My tuna salad concoction.

Dinner 2/24

I'm pretty sure wrote one of these for my dinner last night but it clearly didn't make it to the web. Ribeye with green beans and six olives. a cup of baby spinach with greek dressing.

Lunch 2/24/11

My tuna concoction with salmon instead of tuna. Two cups of baby spinach with greek salad dressing.

Breakfast 2/24/11

Two eggs and four pieces of bacon.

Dinner 2/23/11

Man I'm pretty terrible at posting these right after my meals. Anywho. Ribeye, green beans, 6 green olives and about a cup of baby spinach with greek dressing.

Lunch 2/23/11

My tuna concoction(with tuna this time) and about two cups of baby spinach and greek salad dressing. Think I need to add a snack at about 11 am or add the third egg back at breakfast. I got very hungry at noonish but didn't have time to eat anything. Decisions decisions.

Breakfast 2/23/11

2 eggs with cheddar cheese and 4 strips of bacon. Thinking sausage may be in my future soon.

Dinner 2/22/11

It was stuff that isn't on the approved list. Hmm.

Lunch 2/22/11

2 cups baby spinach and my tuna concoction. Well it was salmon instead of tuna this time. You know what I mean.

For snack I'm having some meat and cheese.

Breakfast 2/22/11

Two eggs and four pieces of bacon.

Dinner 2/21/11

Ribeye with green beans. Then I went and bought a good case for my Alvarez.

Lunch 2/21/11

Tuna salad concoction with two cups of baby spinach and greek salad dressing.

Lunch 2/21/11

Tuna salad concoction with two cups of baby spinach and greek salad dressing.

Onward! Ho!

Man what a week I've had. Things have been a little hectic at work this week but I think I've handled the hectic with more poise than usual. Could this have something to do with the food I'm eating? Hmm? Does eating foods from the low carb "Approved Foods List" make you have a more even temperament? Good question don't ya think?!?

Here's what I know. Since last Monday 2/14/11 I have lost 11 lbs. That may seem like quite a bit to you but honestly I lost 13 or 14 pounds my first week on weight watchers a few years ago. There is a major difference between what I was doing with weight watchers and what I'm doing now though. My first week on weight watchers I walked 20 minutes every morning and then did a cardio workout 3 times a week for at least 45 minutes. My first week on the "Approved Foods List" I haven't worked out once!!! I have not walked, been on a bicycle, run on the elliptical, tried to kill myself with P90X, or done anything else outside of my normal routine. NOTHING! NADA! ZIP! Zilch! Zero! Are you picking up what I'm putting down?

How is that possible? Well I can't explain it but, everything I'm doing, I learned from this BOOK. Is one week enough to prove that everything Mr. Taubes or Dr. Atkins have asserted about low carb diets? No. And I'm certain they would both agree that one week is not enough time to prove whether or not this works. That being said I'm truly excited. This is working just like this BOOK said it would. I'm eating low carb foods and the weight is falling off all by itself.

Another thing I know. My skin feels healthier and is looking healthier than it has in a long time. I've been a body acne sufferer in a few places for a long time. I've been to Dr's and taken medicine and used weird smelling ointments and soaps with the same frustrating results of dieting. Short term success but long term failure. What if eating low carb cures acne? Wouldn't that be something?

Another thing I think. I'm pretty sure my resting heart rate is slower than it was at the beginning of last week. I'm going to start recording that in the morning and see if drops over time as well.

In short. I feel good. I'm lighter and smaller than I was last week. I'm still hopeful and I'm NOT HUNGRY and frustrated by my hunger like I was after my first week of weight watchers.

Bring it on week two.

Breakfast 2/21/11

Three eggs scrambled. Four pieces of bacon and 2 cups of warm chicken broth.

Lunch and dinner 2/20/11

Saul Good's chicken and waffles for lunch with Mom.
Waffle House for dinner where I had 3 eggs scrambled, 3 peices of bacon and two sausage patties. I had some sweet tarts at the theatre and two small bags of m and m's when I got home. I also had 1 small makers on the rocks in the evening. Slightly off the charts but no big deal.

Breakfast 2/20/11

Had two cheesesticks this morning for breakfast with some bacon. Wasn't very hungry though. I'm taking my mother out to lunch this afteroon and I'm totally cheating when I do. More about that tomorrow.

Woops 2/19/11

Totally fell off the map here on Saturday. I had my usual eggs and, thank god, the last of the turkey bacon. I had tuna salad and then salmon salad for lunch and dinner. Two cheesesticks for snack and a little bit of bacon. Spent most of the day playing the guitar.

Lunch and dinner 2/18/11

Lunch
Tuna, mayo and dill pickle. Baby spinach with an orange pepper.

Dinner
Steak, 6 green olives, baby spinach with greek dressing and a cheesestick.

Breakfast 2/18/11

3 eggs and four pieces of saddle leather aka turkey bacon. Yum.

Dinner 2/17/11

Steak and salad with greek dressing. Six olives and a cheesestick. After that I played at the Jamily Reunion and had a blast. Too much fun. Got so many compliments.

Lunch 2/17/11

6 oz chunk light tuna in water, 2 dill pickle spears and 4 tablespoons of mayo. Also 2 cups of baby spinach with 1 orange pepper and greek salad dressing.

Snack 2/17/11

No snack today at all. Wasn't feeling hungry. Tonight will be a big test. I'll have to avoid bad food and alcohol at the same time. Test of manhood?

Breakfast 2/17/11

3 eggs scrambled and 5 pieces of turkey bacon. I'm not a fan of turkey bacon. Closer to leather than bacon.

All meals 2/16/11

Breakfast : three eggs and 4 pieces of bacon.
Lunch : tuna and mayo. Cucumber and orange pepper with greek dressing. A cheestick and pepperoni.
Dinner: chicken and green beans.
Pepperoni and a cheesestick for snack.

Dinner 2/15/11

Steak, cucumber, baby spinach, six olives and a cheese stick. Steak for dinner is always good.

Lunch 2/15/11

Tuna with mayo and baby spinach with a yellow bell pepper. Cheese stick for lunch and snack too. Sadly there was no yum yum milk.

Breakfast 2/15/11

Three scrambled eggs and four pieces of bacon.

Dinner 2/14/11

Bacon wrapped filet cooked on my new George Foreman grill. Baby spinach with greek dressing. 6 green olives. 1 dill pickle spear and 1 cheese stick thing. Also 2 cups of chicken broth. Drinking broth will take some getting used to.

I'm a cheater already.

I had a piece of chocolate cake and milk at work today. I'm okay with this because I was in great company.

Lunch 2/14/11

Tuna with four ounces of mayo. About two cups of baby spinach with greek salad dressing and one raw red pepper. I had a cheese stick thing about an hour before lunch.

Breakfast 2/14/11

Three scrambled eggs and four pieces of bacon.

Weight loss attempt number 378,461!

It's been almost two years since my last post here and I really didn't think there would be any more posts. My original concept for this blog was to document my weight loss when I was doing Weight Watchers and riding my bicycle. That didn't really work out. Weight Watchers stopped coming to the office and I stopped following the program.

I have read so many different things about dieting I couldn't keep straight about what the "right" foods were and what was wrong. Was I counting calories or fat? Should I be worried about sodium? Should I drink lots of water or will that make me gain weight? Eventually I felt so confused I just stopped paying attention to what I ate and focused on excercise. Guess what? That didn't work at all. I worked out four times a week and gained all my weight back.

That's the very condensed version of my life for the last two years. Lots of effort with very little reward. If you search the web you'll find a large number of stories very similar to mine. It's amazing just how small obesity can make a person feel and, until about three months ago, that's exactly how I felt. Small and defeated.

While I'm opening my soul for everyone I'm going to make another confession. I really like bike porn. Right about now I bet you're asking yourself what bike porn has to do with weight loss?!? Well it doesn't... At least not directly but bear with me. One of the places where I go to look at bike porn is the Rivendell Bicycle Works website. These are some fantastic and well respected people within the bicycling community and they make some of the finest and most useful bicycles in the United States. They have lots of bicycle pictures and stories as well as lots of advice on equipment etcetera etcetera. Grant, the guy that runs the place, has a blog where he posts information about various and sundry things pertaining to Rivendell. I read this blog pretty regularly and there was a post made there one day about a book called "Why We Get Fat!" Grant went on about how good the book was and how the author, Gary Taubes, debunked most of the modern "thinking" about diet and excercise and I got pretty freakin' curious.

I checked out Gary Taubes website and read this article and I was pretty intrigued. I couldn't help but see myself as one of the people in one of those studies. As matter of fact when I was a teenager I was part of weight loss support group for teens and parents that used the calories in/calories out method in conjunction with the low fat method to produce weight loss. Bottom line... I lost quite a bit of weight when I was teenager. As soon as the support group ended I put all that weight and quite a bit more back on. I really think that was the point where all the depression feelings that come with being obese set in.

Today as I'm typing this I have read and feel like I understand the concepts explained in Mr. Taubes book. Today I am starting anew using the advice from Mr. Taubes book as a frame work for a way of eating that will, at least if the assertions in the book are true, allow me to attack my weight problem in a manner that makes sense. Eat when you are hungry, and eat until you are full. I feel hopeful about this for the first time in a long time.

From this day forward I will post a description of every meal I eat everyday right after eating. I will post my weight weekly and photos monthly documenting my success or failure using Mr. Taubes advice. I don't know what's actually going to happen but, I believe that if I follow the advice in the book, the outcome will be a smaller, happier and healthier me.